Needing someone is the fastest way to kill
Walsch... But we all like to feel needed.
God... Then stop it. Like
to feel unneeded instead -
greatest gift you can give someone
strength and the power not to need
need you for nothing.
Given to Neale Donald Walsch... by God
Conversations with God Book 2
The ego. It lives
deep inside your mind and it thrives on fear, judgment, jealousy, hatred,
anger, bitterness, lack of forgiveness, control, expectations, doubt,
separation, limitation and
many other negative thoughts and emotions.
The ego, which is famous for making judgments about others, is also the
root source of most failed relationships, especially the romantic kind.
of the guilt it can inspire, it also
hinders us from understanding that sexuality can be sacred.
Spirit, Bartholomew, has some very
insightful things to say about the ego and relationships. His words and insights are much
better than mine so I'll let him speak for himself...
"When we begin to discuss deep,
personal relationships, we are led to talk about unconditional love; because
that is the eventual goal.
Many of you feel this kind of deep love is beyond your reach until you 'fix' yourself and your life...
That will never happen... you will never be fully content with yourself and
your life when you view it through the ego.
Your ego would like you to believe love is complicated.
You have all had moments where you experienced deep love... those moments
are difficult to maintain when they are shattered by the arrival of
perceived differences, feelings of superiority, judgment, inferiority and
With the arrival of separation, the feeling of love seems to disappear...
what has happened to that feeling?
Let's say you meet someone and find yourself enchanted by this person...
deep within you something moves... you feel, not just excitement, but a
sense of being comfortable, of being safe of being in the presence of
something so important and so special that you find yourself willing to
share your life with the person you think gives you
When you meet someone whose energy field moves you in such a way, some
aspect of your soul, the God-part of you responds.
In those early days, weeks and months of the relationship that feeling is
Here is a person you can share everything with... who, from the depths of
their being, shares who they are with you.
In the presence of each other, you both find yourselves more forgiving...
things that would, in the past, agitate you terribly fade into
When you have this love in your heart you become more allowing, more
understanding, more loveable yourself... these are truly magic moments.
This coming together is a moment of recognition, when the possibility arises
that there may be one person who will find enough value in you to stay
steady in your life thereby, giving you the opportunity to find out who
you really are.
Then one day, perhaps without even knowing where it comes from, there arises
in your mind a judgment.
'Hmmm,' says the lover about the beloved, 'I don't think I
like what is happening... I think it might be a little uncomfortable to live
with that characteristic for the rest of my life.'
At this point nothing is said; but the moment that first small judgment
comes in, you begin a process that you may be stuck with for the rest of
The process is... judgment leads to doubt, which leads to more judgment,
which then accumulates over the years.
Of course, the other person is in the same process so at the very
earliest stages, this separation begins to arise, and it will continue if
nothing comes to break the pattern.
At the start of the relationship, when the soul began to move toward a
partnership of deep union, that yearning was so powerful it was able
to silence this judgmental little voice.
But the little voice (ego) is speaking quietly in the background all the
time, whispering things like, 'He or she didn't do it right, didn't do
it quickly enough; or My beliefs, or family or background are just a
little more 'right' than his or hers.'
When this powerful, new love energy wells up, the small, insistent, nagging
ego-voice seems to cease... remember this, because this is where your hope
It is possible to begin to silence the ego by getting in touch with how you
felt when love first sprang up in your heart.
Most people, however, try to find another person to feel this with instead
of trying to find what once was."
I could go on
for quite some time with Bartholomew's wisdom on relationships and the role that ego plays
in weakening them. Quite frankly, I've just touched the surface on the advice he offers.
In essence, what he
is saying is that there is a real purpose behind relationships, especially the romantic
kind. That is, in the early stages of romance, we love every thing and every one.
All is sacred. We are patient, tolerant, accepting of the other's faults, forgiving and
understanding, gentler, kinder, giving, joyful and we become so lovable ourselves.
This is the divine
goal of romance; to bring us to an understanding of unconditional love and then
being it. Why? Because that is who we really are, Beings of Light, who have forgotten our divine heritage.
In the process of being unconditional love, the ego slowly
recedes into its
rightful place within our minds and we awaken more and more
to God-centeredness and our true
spiritual nature. Then we are free as we were a long, long time ago.
I highly recommend
you read the book, Bartholomew, Planetary Brother," pgs. 121-147. It is filled
with insights that make so much sense about romantic relationships with others. It
not only serves as a blueprint for lasting and fulfilling partnerships, but
also explains how we can heal our relationships.