In Caroline Myss'
book, "Anatomy of the Spirit," she devotes several chapters to inner
transformation, the dark night of the soul and our spiritual awakening. All
are intimately related. Even though the dark night is a true blessing, it
can be difficult to understand and accept as
one endures the experience.
Myss describes the process of spiritual awakening so well "There is nothing easy about becoming
conscious." And she is right.
In the spiritual crisis section of her book, she tells a true story about a young woman named Marnie. It is a
wonderful and very inspiring example of a dark night experience that happened
to a very courageous individual. Always remember that the dark night can come in
various sizes and shapes. And they will never be bigger or smaller than what we are prepared
cope with. Marnie's was a big one. I've summarized it below...
Marnie was a young social worker in Scotland when a seven-year, dark night
crisis unexpectedly entered her life. At the age of thirty she came down with a
medical condition that doctors could not diagnose or explain.
With each passing month, Marnie
developed increasing pain throughout her body. Eventually, it became so severe that she
was forced to take a leave of absence from her job. For two more years, she went from
doctor to doctor for a cure but nothing worked.
Not surprisingly, Marnie went into deep depression. Her friends suggested she try
alternative medicine and gave her books to read on the subject. One of those books was
about Sai Baba, a spiritual master living in India.
After six more months of pain, Marnie
decided to travel to India and spend time at the ashram of Sai Baba hoping to get an
audience with this Master. For some reason, it never fell into place. She returned to
Scotland in deep despair. Soon thereafter she started having a series of dreams in which a
voice kept asking her "can you accept what I have given you?"
After brushing off
the dreams as meaningless, a friend suggested she treat them as though she were being
asked a spiritual question with a higher meaning and purpose to it. Out of desperation she
decided to give it a try.
The next time she had the dream she answered the question by saying, in her
"Yes, I will accept what you have given me." She was immediately bathed in a
white light and for the first time in years was pain free. Upon awakening, she hoped the
pain would still be gone, but it wasn't. Incredibly, the pain got worse over the next four
During those four years, she held onto the dream and its message as best she could even
though her life was filled with anger and despair wondering why she was suffering for no
good reason. And yet, she wouldn't quit believing that God was helping her.
One night, while in deep despair and tears, Marnie said she finally reached surrender. She thought she had reached it before but had not.
Looking back she
explained that, since having the dream four years ago, she really hadn't accepted the
dark night crisis that had become a part of her life for so long. Rather, she was in
resignation to it and was still fighting and resisting the test that had been brought into
her life. But this time, she had reached the end. There was no more resistance, no more
fight, and she finally surrendered and let go completely. All she said to God was "Whatever you
choose for me, so be it. Just give me the strength."
As soon as she
surrendered, she felt her pain ease and her hands filled with heat. She immediately
"knew" that this was no ordinary heat, but a spiritual heat that had
the power to help heal others.
Today, Marine is forty-four. She is respected the world over as a genuine and greatly loved
anointed healer. Amazingly, she has not been able to heal her own pain, although it has
eased a bit. In her own words "I would go through it all again, given who I am
today and what I know, for the privilege of helping others the way I can now."
Marnie's remarkable story is one of many. If you are going through a spiritual crisis,
regardless of size and intensity, the end will come when you surrender and accept what our
Source has done to help awaken you on the path. And you will do so with joy, not resignation, in your heart. Then
you must live it. Then you will finally understand.
Here is an inspirational quote I have cited several times in this web site and would like
to present it again because of the wisdom it contains...
"You cannot hope to grow
spiritually unless you are prepared to change. Those changes may come in small ways to
begin with, but as you move further and further into the new, they will become more
drastic and vital. Sometimes it needs a complete upheaval to bring about a new way of
Given to Eileen Caddy... by God
Flight Into Freedom (1988)
Dark Night Symptoms
Spiritual Crisis Links
Dark Night Experiences
of Visitors to This Page
Dark Night Crisis and Surrender